my thoughts...a.k.a. things you probably won't fully understand due to their vagueness.

Change.

It's an interesting thing.

Something that cannot be avoided. Because when you 'avoid' it...things will then change because of that so-called avoidance.

But anyway...I would hope to say I haven't really avoided change...although I know that there are some ways that I have.

Thank goodness for change, then!

But...some change definitely has a sadder side to it, or at least a side that isn't as 'high up there' as you'd like it to be.

Have you ever had a moment in life where you feel as if something is about to change? Or worse: already has? I've had a few of those lately.

I feel as if I've lost someone. And possibly perhaps a few someones. Which is sad...it truly makes me feel as if I've lost a part of myself. But all is not lost, then. Just some. But with that loss comes gratitude for what I had before. And also with it comes an inner perpetual sigh (or so it seems) that somehow desires to sum up all that I feel about those people not being a part of my life in one way or another. When really...it can't be summed up. You don't just 'sum up' people. Or experiences. Feelings. Good times...memories. But anyway...you obviously can tell that it is somewhat of a difficulty for me to turn this page, when sadly I find myself thinking, "Well, obviously it wasn't for them." Not really the best thing to say...

But if 'losing' these people in my life is what is in my plan, then I know that somehow, sometime I will be able to overcome the emptiness it creates somewhere inside me. It's a strange feeling...still caring for others that seem blind only in your direction...and yet wanting to not be affected by it, or at least show them that you've been affected by it.

Change. It's an interesting thing. But I think I'm ready to do it. Some things, you realize unfortunately a bit later than preferred, really were bringing you down bit by bit...and now, I feel it's time to rise on up and start walking again.

Yes, it's time.