letting thoughts melt away

I've been doing some thinking lately.  About a few things.

I have 6 months left until I graduate with my Bachelor's degree.  I cannot believe that, A)  I'll be receiving my Bachelor's degree, and B) all of the sudden, the year and half that I have to be here at school has dwindled so quickly to just a 'half'.

I'm not sure how to explain how I feel.  I definitely am anxious to return back home to Utah.  There are so many places, things, events and most definitely people that I miss dearly.  My family being the ones missed most.  Friend coming in a very, very close second.  There were things that I was so sad about leaving behind when I left, one year ago.  I remember driving to my parents' home a couple of nights before I left to return to school.  I was driving on the 15 toward their exit and started crying as I began realizing what I was about to do; I was going to leave home - a place I had made my home all on my own at the age of twenty.  I had gotten a full-time job, I paid for a car, an apartment, the gas bill, the insurances of all sorts, my groceries, the fun times with friends, etc.  I had met so many people.  I had had so many experiences.  I had changed so much.  But, I knew I needed to leave, but really had no {certain} idea why.  The only thing I knew was that it was right.

And now I sit here in my apartment in Idaho writing this and thinking back on so many experiences, people, lessons, opportunities and blessings I have had during the last year that I've been here.  It has been tremendous and overwhelming and beautiful all at the same time.  I know it's six months away, but I already know I will miss this place and the people when I leave.

It's true what they say about not knowing how much you love something or someone until you lose them.  But, I also believe that you do not fully understand the love that you have for something until you have an opportunity to return to it, or to that person - I have been blessed with that experience twice now.  I originally attended school here from 2008-2009, then moved to Utah.  Then I returned to school, and soon I will be returning to Utah. My appreciation for both of these places has increased greatly.  I feel so blessed to be able to come back here to school, and soon to my home, and do  things differently the second time around - take advantage of all of the great things around me and to be grateful everyday.

I can see a bit more clearly now the reasons why it was right for me to return to school, despite having to leave things behind.  It has made such a difference and I would not change it for anything.

I'm also realizing that sometimes, oftentimes, there is more waiting for you when you return.  And that is something I cannot wait for.